Flying Into the Future
by StatsGrandma57
Summary: Han and Leia express their concerns about Jaina's leaving to start military service...but not to Jaina.


FLYING INTO THE FUTURE

(Leia)

Jaina is packing. To the chagrin of her father and me, she has opted to join the Navy. This is her dream, the dream of becoming a fighter pilot and then a test pilot.

She's asked me to help her get everything together and we're in her room together, putting clothes and stuffed animals and other tchotchkes she owns, along with her holocam, her datapad, and her comm. I had no idea she had this much stuff. It shouldn't come as a surprise - we're savers, not tossers - but I just wonder if she's not overdoing it.

"Honey, I don't think you'll need that many clothes - you'll be in uniform most of the time," I say gently.

"Yeah, but what about when I go out? We do get time to goof off," she responds. "I'm not gonna be caught wearing a sweater that doesn't match my shoes."

I understand that part. I still think she's taking too many clothes, but I say no more. I have to remind myself that she's 17, the age of responsibility on Alderaan and here on Coruscant, and she is eligible to join the military. She passed her entrance exams with the top scores in every category, something she shares with her father. She's got his passion for flying and his abilities with mechanics. I sometimes wonder if she shares anything with me beyond our gender and our love of fancy lingerie.

"Can I take some holos with me, please?" she asks, referring to the hallway that's covered with holos past and present, floor to ceiling.

When I went away to join the Rebellion, I only had time to grab a handful of holos from my life on Alderaan. I had intended that they would keep me from being homesick until I returned. Things didn't exactly work out that way.

Nothing ever does, I remind myself. And for most of my life, it's been a good thing. I would never have learned so much and be blessed with so many riches had everything gone the way I imagined it would.

I don't like feeling fearful, and much as Luke has taught me in terms of meditation to feel the Force, I'm still highly anxious. We've had no drawn out large scale wars such as the Galactic Civil War, but there've been skirmishes and insurrections at various times on different worlds. When it seems that everything is destabilizing, they send the diplomats first, and when that doesn't work, they send in the military. Their presence in the midst of a planet's warfare is like law enforcement answering a domestic violence call - it's the most dangerous sort. I have prayed to the Force that peacetime reign until her enlistment is complete. Whenever that is. She's planning on a military career. I may be stuck with this knot in my guts for the rest of my life.

"Sure, take as many as you want," I tell her. Gods forbid something happens. She should have her memories close by.

"Thanks." She turns to look straight at me from the doorway. "Mom, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, sweetheart," I lie to her.

"You're afraid I won't come back. Aren't you?"

Force sensitive kids can be such a pain at times. "I worry a little about it."

"Mom, this is me!" she says, smiling. I recall her father saying this more than a few times, and I can't help but laugh a bit. "I'm gonna get out of this with my skin intact. I promise."

I want to tell her not to make promises she may not be able to keep, but for now, I let it comfort me. Maybe the Solo Luck runs deep in her veins.

I fold a few more items of clothing and pack them, and she returns with an armload of holos. "Don't worry, I'll send some so you can fill up the spaces," she says to me, her smile still on her face.

At long last the final container is filled, sealed and set in the living room. Jarik sits atop two of them stacked. He's five and he's going to miss his sister. His two brothers are at the Praxium on Yavin 4, and that's been hard enough for him. Jaina's been providing him with nearly nonstop entertainment in the times that she hadn't been involved in getting ready to take off.

Han walks out of our bedroom. He's been in there with the door locked for the last hour, and I think he might have actually been crying. I don't ask and he doesn't need to say anything. We're both feeling as if our guts are being ripped out, perhaps even more so because it's Jaina, who is the light of Han's life.

This is going to take me some time to get used to.

01123581321345589144233377610987

(Han)

"Jaina, sweetie, I hope you know you're probably not going to be able to fit all that stuff in your dorm," Han tells her. "Unless things have drastically changed since I was there." She will be training on Carida, where I trained when I was in the Imperial Navy. I seem to recall not having much of anything and it fit just fine.

"I got the measurements," she tells me, "and I calculated exactly how much I could take and not violate regulations."

Okay, well, she is prepared, I will give her that. This is important for being a pilot.

She'd be a fine pilot even if she didn't choose to enter the Navy. We discussed this with her when she informed us that she wanted a military career. I think that was the hardest punch in the gut I ever received. Leia and I were in agreement that she continue her education, but this wasn't exactly what we had in mind.

Doesn't matter now. She's legally an adult, and as much as I hate the idea of her in the military, I can't force her to change her decision. I'll concede that she'll get the best training in the galaxy. Can't argue with that. I guess Leia and I figured she might embrace being a Jedi knight as a career choice. I'd have actually been fine with that. I think. Maybe not.

She's a restless soul, always wants to be on the move and eagerly awaits flying into the future. I was sort of hoping she'd join up with me in the business but that probably needs to wait for Jarik to grow up, assuming his teachers don't murder him first.

Who knows, maybe she could change her mind. Right now, it's peacetime in the galaxy and while we haven't had interplanetary wars, we've had infraplanetary conflicts. Those can be just as dangerous. I hope that she'll never have to go into battle. She's a fighter, she's strong, she's motivated. But life's pretty fragile in a lot of ways. I've long since passed the age of invincibility. She hasn't.

I could tell her that war sucks, but she's heard that from Leia, from Luke, from Mara, and from me, and while I'm sure she's filed that away, it's not on her mind going in.

I could tell her, I'm worried about you getting killed, but that'd be useless. I was unconcerned with mortality when I was her age, and she's no different.

I could tell her that I'll miss her like crazy. But she's made it clear that it's her time to satisfy her hunger for adventure.

I blame Jagged Fel for a lot of this. He's in the Navy and he seems to have convinced her that this is the life she should have. I hate the guy. But I've been told to keep it to myself, so I do. Never mind that he'll break her heart. His kind always does.

I could say a lot of things. But this is her time to fly into the future.

So the only thing I can say to her is goodbye.


End file.
